Open reading v. Critique
I attend both poetry readings and poetry critique, online and in-person. Unfortunately, some people don't understand the difference. I admit it took me a while.
In an open reading, we simply read our work. That's it. No critique. The listeners may comment by saying "beautiful" or typing such things in the chat or repeating a line in the chat. No more than that is allowed in a poetry reading and some don't even allow that much commentary.
In a critique group we go with the expectation of receiving critique on our work. In return, we give critique on the work of others. Sometimes we may specify we want gentle critique or brutally honest critique. Regardless, we still use our best judgement.
I have a confession here too. I have at times been too brutally honest when I think I'm trying to be more gentle. I've learned that I really have to check myself.
The flip side of the coin regarding critique is having a thick skin. If we go into it expecting critique we must try not to be devastated when critiqued.
When we critique someone's work, we should
ask questions if we don't understand something
find something in the poem or story we can complement, no matter how small
offer the critique the writer wants – gentle, medium, brutally honest.
When being critiqued we should
answer questions when asked
listen to the comments
take notes to try some of the changes later
What not to do
argue with the critiquer or writer
get defensive over our work or comments
take it personally
I hope this little aside helps clarify the difference between being in a poetry reading group and a poetry critique group. I've learned these things by participating in both and making mistakes.